 |
| Conventioneers at a recent Koi meeting in Kerala, India. |
In evaluating the serious responsibility of taking on not one new pet but MANY, in the form of two dozen or so fish, it was helpful to look for the bright side of things. Never “needing” the companionship of an animal (though I grew up with cocker spaniels, and we did have a late lamented female cat who gave us two litters in her day--before I put an end to THAT) I decided to evaluate the advantages of koi (singular AND plural??) over dogs.
Koi don't shed hair on your clothes
They never bring in fleas.
Koi never look guilty after munching your favorite slippers
Unlike their canine counterparts, they never drag their butts along the carpet (euu)
Koi avoid mating with your dinner guest's leg
They also never chase cats and only rarely bite the mail man
Also, they don’t have dog food breath
Koi are too cool to drool or slobber
Furthermore, they don’t expect to be walked during an ice storm
It is practically impossible for them to run away or chase cars
The town doesn’t require that you license fish, hence they don’t need a koi-catcher
The law doesn’t require you to follow them around with a plastic bag and trowel
No koi has ever knocked over your favorite lamp with their tail
They make it a practice not to bark all day if you're not home, nor scratch your door.
Koi don't wake you to let them out at 6am nor try to climb in bed with you.
If koi do howl at the moon, you can’t hear them
Koi don't need tomato juice baths after an encounter with a skunk
They never jump up on small children
You don't need to bathe a koi (that’d be silly)
Koi don't sneak up on the velvet couch when you are out.
People don’t dress koi up in jaunty scarves or festive little seasonal sweaters.
Koi don't eat the pumpkin pie you left cooling on the counter, only to hurl it back up on the floor.
Koi are way too zen to lick themselves in public
and finally, even Michael Vick wouldn't dream of betting on a koi fight.
